Schadenfreude

I realised the other day that there really is a child in me. I’m not confessing to some weird cannibalistic killing either: you all know the child I talk about. It's in all of us. It's a little snigger that erupts when the fat kid falls over, when someone swears on prime time TV, or when a child says something racist. Something happens to someone and you just know you shouldn’t laugh. It’s only then that the child comes out.

I’m going to give you a bit of background on what I was like as a child and why I don’t think this childish nature ever leaves us.

I’ve discussed before the incident where I ended up going to A&E after a helicopter flew into my eye. That is just one example of the many things I did when I was younger that were utterly stupid. That child who was sitting in A&E with the eye patch on and a broken helicopter was the same child who once tried to make a homemade bazooka using a drainpipe and a firework.

 The look I was going for was like this, but less Matt Damony.

When I was young I always had a good group of friends and none of them were really trouble makers. True, the person who provided the firework and the motivation to create this homemade explosive device was a person who my parents referred to as ‘that big stupid idiot’ but his heart was in the right place. You see, we used to play army and we always endeavoured for realism. We played these games in the farmer’s fields near my house which provided large hedges and ditches (almost like a smaller version of the French Bocage). This was perfect for games of army. The only problem was that the ditches swayed people into just taking cover without risk and the game did get a bit boring. Granted, we were only using cap guns, but I wanted a faster paced game.

So, to add an additional element of realism to the game I tried – and succeeded – in flushing out my hiding friends using a rocket firework launched from within a short length of drainpipe. The only problem was – much like real RPG’s – you tended to get a blowback as the rocket left its poorly secured piece of tape which fixed it to the inside of the pipe. This was how I ended up with a burnt armpit (I still have small scars) and a group of friends who would not speak to me for days because I managed to flush them from their ditch... and perhaps because I may have put their lives in danger a little bit.

But this danger was all in the name of fun and it was hilarious when people got hurt. In fact, the first response of any child when someone is hurt is to run off as quickly as possible. I recall a few occasions when this childish masochism was demonstrated beautifully:

The first happened during summer of 1996. We were bored and England had lost the European Cup so people had many pent up frustrations. The usual stone fights with the kids who lived across the canal  had grown tedious (there’s no better way show your dislike for outsiders than to stone them – a method of punishment most modern day Iranians never quite grow out of) and so we took to making other weapons to bring about pain and thus, fun. One of these homemade horrors was a strip of branch from a simple bush that grew in the fields near to us. When broken off and stripped of the outer bark, these slender branches would form formidable whips which could be thrown through bicycle spokes, poked into people’s ears or,  when occasion called for it, whipping people in the arse. Bear in mind, these branches could whip an aluminium can in two so safety was paramount. This was taken into consideration by my friend who gave a strict warning to another mate to ‘duck’ before proceeding to whip the branch towards his face. Of course, this 1 second warning just prompted the victim to reply with “what?” as the branch tore through his lip and extended his smile by an inch.

 Yeah, kind of like this.

Bloodied and crying, what did we do to help ? We legged it. After all, we would all be blamed for playing with the things so we promptly decided it was home time. When we saw the victim the next day with his lip glued we just laughed (gluing wounds was still new to us) and someone actually said, “Well, he did give you fair warning.”

 Another incident was when myself and another friend helped to make a rope swing across the brook that ran through our estate. We were proud of the effort we had put into it and annoyed when other kids started to use it for their own fun. This would not be tolerated. So, one morning we woke up early, went to our rope swing and cut a notch into the rope before promptly leaving. When other kids turned up to use the rope swing we watched from afar as they took turns swinging on it. At first we thought our bit of sabotage had not worked but then as the oldest kid had a go there was a snap. Followed by a scream. The thing was, unlike most startled screams, this one didn’t stop. In fact, it sounded quite bad. It turned out the kid had broken his leg.

Finally, my last example of childishness that could’ve led to terrible things was when ‘bigger kids’ stole a raft that we had made for use on the canal that ran near to my house. This was a proper raft: oil drums with wood lashed on top. It floated perfectly... for a while. Obviously, when we heard of the theft, me and my best friend (the person who had helped me cut the rope swing and who was buried by porn in a later incident) made it our mission to find the raft. We succeeded. Now, the logical thing would’ve been to take the raft back and store it somewhere safely... but where is the fun in that? After all, the bullies who were using the raft were poor and everyone knows that poor people don’t swim all that well.

So, my friend and I set about puncturing each and every oil drum with a penknife. This meant that the raft would float until it got about half way across the canal where it would promptly sink. Incidentally, the first of the bullies to have a go was quite fat and this only meant that the raft sank faster. Revenge was sweet and defeat probably tasted like rat piss and hepatitis A.

So, you question what it was that reminded me of the child in me? It was a video on the Internet. And no, it wasn’t that kind of video. It was a video of a policeman in America who had just had something yelled at him by one of the hippies who are currently protesting outside all major capitalist establishments. This policeman – who had clearly had enough – decided to punch the hippy full-on in the face. According to the report he then decided to tase the man.

Now, this was not funny for any political reason. Whilst I don’t openly support what they are protesting about (yes the banks have screwed us over, but I can’t afford to take time off work to moan about it) I don’t disagree with them either. It was just funny to watch an unwashed person mouth off to someone who was just doing their job; then promptly pay for it.

Yes the policeman was in the wrong. Yes, he deserves to be sacked... but he also deserves a medal for reminding me of why something is very funny when it happens to someone else.

The Race Debate...

Following the recent riots in the UK, many posh people have been talking over the reasons behind the looting. It appears that nothing can happen without an underlying cause. Nobody likes to admit that modern cultures and bad parenting combined with poverty may cause people to become scumbags.

Throughout the debate, a historian called David Starkey, tried to give his opinion on one of the causes during what was meant to be an intelligent debate on a UK news programme. His opinion caused a massive backlash from politicians and popularity-seekers everywhere. Suddenly, the country shuddered as everyone got on to their high horses to blast the poor man about his opinion, once again proving that we are not yet evolved enough to have an intelligent discussion on race and the crimes associated with various subcultures within racial groups.

Curiously, I wonder what the opinion of the general public would've been if it was a coloured person who expressed David Starkey's views?

So, what is my opinion you may ask?

I'm white. Therefore I am incapable of having an intelligent debate about race and crime because if I did, that would make me a racist.

I yearn for the day that adults can have a discussion and address the problems that come hand in hand with having a multicultural society. I am happy to share my country with so many different people of different cultures and creeds, but I'm disappointed that we cannot fix the few problems that arise as a result.

One day, lives will be saved when people are intelligent enough to discuss these issues without screaming 'racist' to bolster their own popularity.

Why I Pray for the Zombie Apocalypse...

It's August the 9th, 2011 and Britain has seen a spate of rioting and looting on a par with that which took parts of the country back in the 80's. People are burning things, stealing, mugging and generally being total dicks. This is an extreme underline to the reasons why, quite often, I wish the zombie apocalypse upon humanity.

Like many, many people across the world I am fascinated by the idea of being suddenly thrown into a situation where society has broken down and everyone, regardless of background, culture, creed or wealth is square. The slate wiped clean. Of course, fighting zombies and acting without consequence is one of main reasons anyone fantasises about something which, in all honesty, would be quite a horrible experience. The fact that this is such an entertaining and appealing topic should really have people questioning the state of current society.

Our world is dominated and run by greedy individuals. It is also influenced by greedy corporations (I hate sounding like a hippy, but this is what I believe). In turn, they service greedy classes who want nothing more than to have one over on their neighbour. Those who experience poverty also have a greedy state of mind, many turning to a life of crime to get what they want or abuse the system in order to get something for nothing. This may seem like a scathing and unfair view of modern culture but to me, it is the truth. We live in a capitalist society so there is always going to be an element of greed involved as corporations attempt to make as much profit as possible but, like environmental issues, greed is something that should be sustainable.

If you read any sci-fi novel you see a future dominated by an elite few corporations. Whilst this is science fiction, is has basis upon predictions in science fact. Unsustainable greed -- what I see as continued revenue increase without anything being given 'back' -- is what causes this often bleak view of the future where it is not governments that dictate the way we live but corporations.

We are a long way from any such corporate-controlled future but the riots across Britain are highlighting something which is an underlying problem not just in British society but all across the globe. Any reason, however small, gives people an excuse to become disorderly and commit crime. If this is not stamped out quickly and people are seen to be 'getting away' with their crimes then this escalates. Many modern people have weak morals. Not all, but many. Use this as an example and ask yourself what you would do: You walk past the scene of recent looting and see a shop with its windows smashed. On the floor in front of you lie two unopened iPads. There is nobody around. Do you take these, thus becoming one of those looters you claim to hate or do you walk away?

This is the essence of greed. Getting something for nothing. Because of the society we live in where you are not rewarded for good actions nor punished for the bad, greed is allowed to flourish. Those individuals who are walking out of burning electronics stores with new TV's and iPads are opportunistic scavengers who are simply taking advantage of a system which doesn't know how to handle the gravity of their crimes.

More CCTV (properly monitored) and harsher approach to criminal behaviour is something that I believe would help. This is a grim view of the immediate future but may help to create brighter prospects in the long term. In addition to this, those that take (large companies included) should be asked to give a little back. With fuel and energy prices rocketing (without acceptable cause), bankers bonuses rising and spending cuts that affect the poor (but have little impact on the rich) we should expect feelings of anger to boil. These exacerbate a situation which should not be as contagious as it is.

I can't see there being an easy or quick solution to all of the problems faced by this country or even the world. But, in my mind, when I envision a perfect future it is one where corporations support the communities around them by providing jobs and invest in new, smaller companies that are starting up with shared interests. In my future, energy companies seek new forms of fuel and invest in companies developing vehicles that run on their goods. In my future, bankers don't hoard the wealth they gain and give ridiculous bonuses to those that run their company, they invest in innovative ways to help people save or just give a portion of their profits to charitable causes. In my future the compensation culture is gone and people don't get something for nothing but instead get rewarded for hard work and leading a good, honest life.

It's either that, or an apocalypse. History and prehistory have shown that humankind can only progress and can only shine in periods where it is utterly threatened. Nothing unites the world like a zombie apocalypse.

Naming the Masses...

I talked briefly in my last post about one of my gripes - people giving themselves nicknames. It got me thinking about the names that me and my friends (one of which has his own nickname: Jabba) had thought up for people.

The reason for this list is because it gives you an insight into what nicknames should be about and why sometimes it's just best to introduce yourself by your true name, lest we make up a name for you.

My apologies go out to anyone who suspects themselves to be on this list. I'm fairly sure I've not included anyone who will read this, but if so... well, I'm sorry, you should've introduced yourselves sooner:

1) Fat Man Sadsack
2) Klingon Dan
3) Shitface
4) Jellybaby Ange
5) Gummy Joe
6) Ugly Bob
7) Queer Dean
8) Rat-faced Ange
9) Horseface
10) Slabcraker/Rhinoceros face
11) Germ
12) Harry Potter Chris
13) Blind Andy
14) Doughnut Face
15) Behemoth
16) Metallica Mouse (this has got to be my favourite)
17) Kebab
18) Flammable Girl
19) Cross-eyed girl
20) Mightybeard
21) Lumberjack
22) Monk Guy
23) Linkin Park Kid
24) Bacheweychomp Boy
25) Pedo Jim
26) Shiny girl
27) Glasses girl
28) Cat girl
29) Jesus Mark
30) Big Fat Big Gay Rob (he wasn't even gay!)
31) Marcus Dweebus
32) Asteroid
33) Pink (someone who looked like Pink, the singer)
34) That Slut. (I guess our imagination ran out at this point)
35) Darrenindrag
36) Pube
37) Jim From American Pie
38) The 3rd Place
39) Voldo
40) Bam-Bam
41) Asteroth
42) Sausage Roll
43) Straight Face
44) Onion Tramp
45) Spitter
46) Leslak
47) Druggy/Douggie
48) Wolfturd
49) Pigby/Yank
50) Beetroot ghost
51) Anthony Stokes (this was my nickname for a short period)
52) Jimmy (his real name was Andrew... makes sense)
53) Grange Hill (pure genius, if you ever met this girl)
54) Cat pee Lady
55) Capital D (he was 'D' shaped)
56) Spherical Man/Fatback
57) Salad Fingers/Benny
58) Herman the German
59) Boxer Girl (she looked like a boxer)

Ok, so these are all the ones I can think of at the moment, but you can see the general trend here. Bar the occasional observational statement, most of these nicknames are not what people would like to introduce themselves as and, for that very reason, they are true nicknames.

Suddenly, your real name doesn't seem that bad does it?

The Things Men Say...

I live in Stoke. Yeah, on purpose. It's where I grew up.

The first thing I want to say is that it's not as bad as some people seem to think. Generally the crime levels aren't too high and there is not much violent crime. Whilst I have seen crime and experienced it firsthand, it's never been violent and I've never felt threatened where I live. I figured that Stoke hasn't discovered gunpowder or even iron yet so our gangs are still walking around with rocks tied to sticks and early Bronze Age weapons. This is probably why there isn't really much of a gang culture in my town.

Despite this, I do see the occasional chav in town arguing with his girlfriend. And then there was the guy who tried to kill himself by putting his head behind the wheel of a stationary bus after a failed attempt to hang himself with his jumper. So, I guess the reason we don't have violent crime here is because people are too 'simple' for armed conflict.

The way that the above men act -- especially around their partners -- does make me ponder over popular things that men say or do that are unique and annoying. I figured I would list some of them here:

1) "I'm a nice guy" - I think we all know someone like this. This is the person who has a deplorable lack of personality but views himself as the most suave motherfucker on the planet. One of my close friends recently bought to my attention this particular phrase which I realise I've actually heard said in pubs and bars many times. The type of person who says this is someone who was, at some point in their life, popular (for unknown reasons) and has latched onto a distant memory of a drunken idiot telling them this. This is the type of guy who refers to himself in the 3rd person.

Hand gesticulations are a must!

2) Referring to himself in the 3rd person - People don't tend to refer to themselves in the 3rd person in common conversation however a quick peek onto Facebook does show that this is used more often that you would think. When someone refers to themselves in the 3rd person they are essentially advertising the fact that they think so highly of themselves, they like nothing more than to hear their name said aloud. Either that or they're suffering from multiple personality syndrome... and all of the personalities are complete knobs.

3) Giving himself a nickname - Nicknames are something which should only really be used at school or perhaps in various workplaces. Aside from people working for MI6 or the CIA, nicknames shouldn't be something you give yourself. The only people with nicknames outside of these environments are serial killers and sex pests. It might be ok for other people to give someone a nickname (although these people should probably still be avoided) however giving yourself a nickname is just sad. "Hi, my name is Bob but my friends call me Razor". The appropriate response to someone saying this should be, "That's nice Bob, but I'm going to call you Cuntychops."

When I was younger there was a man who used to walk around the Wedgewood area of our town who asked women for the time whilst he dropped his pants and played with himself. We called him the Wedgewood Wanker. He is the perfect example of the type of person who has a nickname.

Yeah, this man looks pretty trustworthy.

4) "I have really low self esteem/I'm shy" - If a guy says this, it roughly translates to, "I'm used to girls falling over to grab my attention but I'm showing you that I really have a soft side and, deep down, I'm quite worried about the way people view me." Or, to put it another way, "I'm vain and I know I'm attractive enough to get you into bed."

Obviously, if the guy who says this is cowering in a corner, playing online games in the dark or pissing himself as he speaks, then he’s probably telling the truth.

5) “I set the internet history to automatically delete itself” – Yeah, this means porn has been viewed. The most sordid, most disgusting porn sites known to man have been looked at through that monitor. You have to think, if these things are bad enough for him to hide them from you then it’s probably best you don’t know what he’s looked at.

6) “This is our song” – Something which blokes quite often say to their girlfriends to recapture a romantic moment from their past. You can usually expect this to be the soppiest, most sickly-sweet, diabetes-inducing, cheesiest track you’ve ever heard. Something like Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” or Robbie Williams’ “Angels”. I once knew someone who worked at a hotel which provided a hall where wedding receptions were held and they had to listen to these songs played over and over and over on a weekly basis.

If you’re going to have a song that is an audio representation of your love for someone then for God’s sake, make it unique… something like Slayers “Raining Blood” perhaps?

7) Saying “I bloody love you” (whilst crying) – If a guy does this then I’ve got bad news for you. A) He’s a chav. B) He’s also probably cheating on you.

Says it all, really. 

8) Cheating on his girlfriend/wife and then saying he can change – OK, so if this has happened to you, and you’ve believed it and taken him back, then I’m sorry but you’re an idiot. He’s probably cheating on your right now.

9) “No, my best friend is black/gay/Jewish” – Yeah, right mate. According to this common statement, black people, gays and Jews must be the most popular people on the planet because I have heard this said on many, many occasions.

10) “I’m not racist but…” (launches into hate-filled rant) – The football-obsessed thug that usually launches himself headfirst into this rant is probably a supporter of the EDL, convinces himself that Asian people are going to take over the UK and can’t pronounce the word ‘England’ properly.



It’s important at this point to mention that despite popular belief, and despite outward appearances, not all guys are terrible, terrible people. And, there are many things that women do that are equally annoying, but I’ll leave that list to a lady.

Rant over. Now, I’m going to go and delete my internet history before my girlfriend comes round.

Why Describing Motorcycle Issues Makes Me Sound Mental...

For those of you who don't know, I own a motorcycle. I love being a biker and the machine I drive is both my pride, my joy, and my way of getting around in all weather. You see, unlike many of the people you see taking to the roads, with their abnormally shiny chains, I have no choice but to use my bike all year round. It's part of the reason I hate winter so much.

Obviously, as I drive my bike a great deal and have done so since I bought it brand new (only this time last year), I know how the bike should fel and when there is something wrong. The problem is, I'm mechanically retarded, so explaining such issues to the dealer can be quite difficult.

The challenges I now face started at the end of January. Shortly after that horribly chilly snap we had which gave so many people excuses to stay at home, I noticed that the bike was not riding right. The trouble is, describing this particular issue was difficult. I could best describe this as a lack of 'ooomph'. This is apparently not a recognised mechanical phrase in a motorcycle dealership. So, I took the bike in and lo and behold, there was no issue found. They re-tuned the engine or 'downloaded the latest tune settings'. My attempt at humour by saying, "Ooh, like iTunes? Will I be able to play my songs on here?" was met with a stern shake of the head as though, deep down, they believed I was actually stupid enough to plug my iPod into the exhaust.

So, I took my bike away and it was not long before I realised that the issue was unresolved. Thankfully, each time it happened it gave me an indication of when it would occur and I hoped the information would give the dealers an idea of the problem. The difficulty was, it made sense whatsoever. When I took the bike back, my description was as follows:


"You see, when I'm driving it, from cold, I get about a mile, perhaps two down the road, and then at about 6,000 rpm the power goes. That's not to say that the power goes it just doesn't come. That is, when I say come, I mean I accelerate and nothing happens and then the bike slows down. But I don't have to be accelerating, it's hard to hold a steady speed. But then, after about a mile, the power will come back."

They looked at me again as though I was a bit special. "So, when does this occur?"

"When it's cold. In the morning. It tends to be Tuesdays or Thursdays"

"So on days beginning with 'T'?" they asked. I think this may have been their attempt at humour but there was no sign of it in their face.

"Um, well. Not just T's. It's happened on Saturday too. Perhaps Days beginning with 'S' are also a problem?" I smiled, but they noted this down. It seemed like they were actually documenting my verbal diarrhea. "So can you help?"


Once again, the shop took the bike from me, giving me a loan bike and they performed their tests. Once again, nothing was found and I had to take it back on two more occasions before they kept it in for a longer stint. During this time, one of the guys in the store rode the bike to work and back for a week and found the loss of power happened whilst he was riding it. Sure enough, I wasn't mental. They replaced the throttle and returned the bike. Problem solved...

or so I thought.

You see, within the period of about a month the bike began to feel less responsive at certain points which were - it seemed - entirely random and thus, difficult to explain. This led to me saying such gems as:

"It feels like I have a fat guy on the back of my bike, but only through certain gears."

"It's making me stall, but I swear it's the bike."

"It feels like the wheels are the wrong shape."

"It feels like someones got a rope tied to the back of the bike and they're pulling it when I'm driving."

"It feels almost like I'm underwater."

At this point I realised that, despite the issue being very real, I was unfortunately completely incapable of describing it in a way that would not make me sound like a raving idiot. The shop took the bike in and ran various tests without result but the problems still persisted. It all reached fever pitch when I finally had to make the call to them with a new issue; the general transcript of the call I can provide below:

"Hi, is that Mr. Breeze?"

"Um, yeah it's me again. Hi."

"How can we help you today?"

"Um, well I'm having problems with the bike again."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear about that. Is it the throttle again?"

"No, the bike won't turn left."

(At this point, I actually heard them sigh).


You can imagine the rest of the call. Essentially, what I was trying to say was that the engine cut out when I turned the handlebars to the left. They asked for me to bring the bike in (obviously assuming that it was one of my 'crazy' days) and I managed to get it to them, only for the mechanic to look at the wiring behind the steering column and say, "Ah, that's the problem. A wire is frayed. This bike is not safe. I would not recommend riding this bike."

 Not a good sign for me to see at that point.

Very reassuring thing to say, especially as my heart rate from the terrifying drive to the shop had only just began to drop.

You see, for all my verbal flatulence, for all my faults when it comes to describing mechanical problems, there is always something wrong. It's just that I fail to explain it to them. With this particular problem, they replaced the ignition set and sent me on my merry way but the bike was still not feeling right. So, I did what I absolutely hoped I wouldn't have to and emailed their CEO. Apparently my verbal diarrhea doesn't translate onto email, which is useful.

Thankfully, a month on, and they've tested the bike and took it back to the factory for repair. I am hoping for a swift resolution and that the issues will not return and so far they have given me no reason to believe this not to be the case. I've made a specific point of NOT mentioning the make or model of bike I have on this blog or the name of the dealer because despite these very dangerous and very numerous issues I've had, the dealers have always done their best to help. At the end of the day, the bike is faulty, it's a dud, but it could happen to any company and until they really annoy me, I don't feel it would be fair to name them here.

I have learnt two things from this whole experience however:

1) If you have a problem, go straight to the top.
2) I'm terrible at describing mechanical problems.

Immigration... Talk About it and You're a Racist.

I need to get something straight. At this current moment in time, I'm not the biggest fan of our Prime Minister, David Cameron. He's a toff who's trying to relate to 'the average joe' whilst taxing us, making cuts in all the wrong places and protecting his banker buddies. But, that aside, he has got some good ideas, I just wish he wasn't being a massive dick about things.

One of his most recent speeches saw him addressing the issue of immigration. He mentioned that it takes time to build up a community and people who move into that community with little wish to 'integrate' and know little or no English cause "discomfort and disjointedness in some neighbourhoods." I was actually refreshed to hear someone speak intelligently about immigration and I suspect within the next few days people will be branding him a racist. I hope this is not the case, he's a bigot, but there's no evidence to say he's a racist. What he has indeed bought up, is that which has many politicians sweating and something which is rarely bought up. I no way endorce the BNP and their very extreme views on foreigners in Britain, but the fact that they were able to become such a well-recognised political party is down to the overly sensitive way we view discussions on immigration.

The simple fact of the matter is that immigration can be a bad thing. Especially when it is not moderated. Illegal immigration is a bad thing and it's not racist to say that. There are serious problems with having unknown persons walking around a foreign land with no grasp of the language or culture.

The ways in which immigration causes problems in the UK is that these people are often taken advantage of and this in turn has a knock-on effect to the rest of us. Companies get cheap labour, we get screwed out of jobs. Thankfully, this is not rife in the UK as we have a bad habit of moving jobs abroad rather than moving people in to work, however it is one of the many problems caused by unmoderated immigration policies.

The part of immigration which I am most exhasperated by -- and the one I am most familiar with -- is the portion which sees people uneducated in the laws of this country; walking the streets doing as they wish. There is no particular race or creed that is more likely to commit crime, however there is noticable effects of having people who are not educated in British laws in the country. Some unfortunate cultural characteristics can sometimes be carried into Britain as a result of incorrect integration into the public. For example, women in some cultures are very much 'seen and not heard' whereas the ladies in this country enjoy the same freedoms as the men. When I was in the police, there was a large amount of negativity towards the females I served with and domestic violence towards women was widely overlooked by the communities in which it took place. Why? I actually heard someone once say 'it's part of the culture', which is an incredibly racist thing to say... apparently. I certainly wouldn't be brave enough to say what culture this person referred to.

I also recall during my times with police, many occasions where someone would not have tax or insurance on their vehicle, or would have no regard for traffic signals and markings. Not through any disregard of the rules, but because there was a large portion of people who came into this country not knowing that these things were required to drive. Unfortunately, traffic crime was probably one of the least negative things to come out of a lack of integration... Murderers were protected by people and violence was often condoned or straight out encouraged by the leaders of a community. An eye for an eye seemed to be something that was inbuilt into some cultures and the thought of bringing the police into a matter that was seen as 'easily resolved' never occurred. If someone stole your wife, you go out and you stab them. They learn their lesson and you get your revenge (I use this as an example, because this actually happened and was a recommendation of a community elder). I'm not attacking a culture for these barbaric methods of dealing with problems, I'm attacking our government which for so long has simply overlooked the fact that people need to be properly integrated.

There are whole areas in certain towns and cities where one race or creed is prevalent over every other and this should not be the case. This is not integration. In the past, the governement has failed to address the fact that some of these communities are poorer and as a result they often have higher crime rates than surrounding areas. Addressing this is not racist, it's intelligent. Crime and poverty shouldn't have anything to do with culture or race, but because of the way our government houses immigrants it often does.

Right about now some people would assume I'm racist because I've dared to bring up the issue of immigration. Immigration can be a very good thing for a country; indeed much of this country was at some point in history immigrants. Only some Welsh and Scottish families can actually claim to be 'true' Britons as the rest of us came across with the Normans or the Saxons. The case is even worse in America and Australia where pretty much everyone is an immigrant.

Immigration is something which is needed and should be managed properly. David Cameron has had a lot of bad ideas and seems to have somewhat of a jaded view of the public but this is one area where he's actually correct and seems to be going in the right direction. Integration is better than simply grouping up a race of people in a single area and a tougher stance on asylum should certainly take place. Afterall, the rules of asylum state that an asylum seeker should request asylum in the first safe country they get to. As Britain is an island, that should rarely be us. Also, if someone commits a serious crime in the UK, I don't see why we should be so aversed to sending them back to their country of origin if they've come into this country seeking asylum.

It is worth mentioning that there are many, many 'non-white' Britons, people who have lived and worked in this country and contribute more to the country than many of the true racists who only want a 'white Britain'. It is only because of the lack of action the government has taken on the people (white or otherwise) who have entered this country illegally that groups like the EDL and BNP have been able to flourish in towns where conflicts between races are common.

It's fantastic that we live in a multi-cultural nation, but it's a shame that these nations are so seperate from each other in some areas.