Showing posts with label bill hicks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bill hicks. Show all posts

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Hats and Drugs.

I like hats. As a shaven-haired individual, hats are not only a necessity for the Wintery weather we get in the UK but also a fashion statement. Plus, as I drive a motorbike, it adds an extra level of comfort to wearing a motorcycle helmet. I also like my hats to tell a kind of story.

 I bloody love hats...

So far I have a hat that was given to me by a friend,  a hat which came free with a magazine, a hat I bought from a festival (the only hat I've ever bought) a hat I found in Cape Town (which previously had belonged to an American who was travelling the world) and a hat I stole from a drug dealer.... At the moment, I like the hat I stole from the drug dealer the most. It carries a message of small come-uppance. It's like a very small, inadequate gesture of defiance towards an individual who doesn't realise what harm he's capable of.

Yes, I'm one of those uncool people who doesn't like drugs. And now I'm going to bore you with the reasons why.

As you may have read from my previous posts, I used to be a police constable. For two years I worked as part of the police and for the best part I enjoyed my job. Those of you who have a Twitter account may have recently followed the Greater Manchester Police (service) as they posted every single call that was made to them online. You will see just from that one day what kind of things the police are involved in and how many time wasters there are out there. You will have also seen a large selection of everyday crimes.

Many of these crimes would not exist, or would be greatly reduced, if drugs were not on our streets.

Pretty much every crime is linked in some way with drugs but that alone is not the reason I dislike them so much. I'm not naive enough to think that drugs are something a minority of the population have tried; drugs are everywhere. Pretty much everyone has tried or actively takes drugs in their life. I'm happy to say that makes me unique as I never have tried drugs and don't intend to. I like to be an exception to the rule, much like I enjoy having different hats with different stories.

Coming back to my hat, I mention that I stole it from a drug dealer (which in itself is a crime and potentially makes me a hypocrite) however it wasn't as straightforward as that. I was at a festival and he'd just finished trying to sell me and my friend some substance which was apparently 'the best experience we could ever hope for; a drug which brings out and enhances a naturally occurring chemical in the body which is only produced when we are born and when we die'. This kind of bullshit didn't wash with me and although I was polite, he realised he wasn't going to get a sale. When security came too close, he fled like a rat and dropped his hat. Which I then acquired.

Anyway, this individual was in all respects a fairly nice guy. He was a student, he was well spoken, in no way was he aggressive and he had a fantastical story which not only confirmed knowledge of his products but also would've made a weak-minded or easily led person consider buying from him. In my mind, this makes him stupid or the worst kind of person: one who preys on the weak to make a profit. It's pretty much the same story with all drug dealers, I'm told how nice and friendly they are but it's really no different from the windows salesmen that pester us so much or the religious fanatics that try to convert us in the streets. They wouldn't be very good salespeople if they weren't nice.

So that being the number one reason, we move on to number two. The argument many people have 'for' drugs and incidentally the one which Parliament is constantly battling over: Drugs are everywhere and not everyone dies from them so why aren't they legalised? More people die from using alcohol each year than die from drugs so surely that makes alcohol more dangerous?

No. Alcohol, whilst not perfect, is used by pretty much everyone. This doesn't make it right, but it means that statistically speaking more people are going to die from alcohol that other drugs because more people drink. Also, alcohol doesn't kill people outright, it is only when someone abuses it that it causes death. That can be abuse by drinking too much or abuse by drinking and then driving or performing another dangerous task. I've not heard a single story of someone having a single drink and then dying.

In my two years in the police there were three incidents of 'sudden death' that occurred in my area alone. 'Sudden death' is the term the police use to describe an incident that happens which costs someone their life but for which there is no immediate and obvious cause. Each of these three times it was down to drug use. This leads me on to reason number three for why I dislike drugs. Using drugs is manipulation of your brain. I think of it sort of like me tweaking the engine of my motorbike so that it's power output far exceeds what it is meant too and then altering the brakes to compensate... then riding it at 200mph without a helmet on. It would be fun and in many respects it's appealing; I could ride it like this a hundred times and not come to any harm or be arrested. But one day, for no discernible reason, my brakes could fail and I die.

Manipulation of the brain is messing with a part of the body which controls respiratory and cardiac functions: the most important jobs our body needs to perform. If you mess with these and increase your heart rate (bearing in mind that your body is used to your heart rate going up under very specific natural circumstances) then sometimes, just sometimes, your heart can give up. It just stops. Often it's not a heart attack, it's just immediate cardiac arrest. You just die, quite often, in your sleep. There is no way of predicting it and no way of stopping it. The drug that the man tried to sell to me is a concern perhaps for a different reason. He stated that it was a chemical which is produced naturally in the body when you are born and when you die and by all accounts he was probably telling the truth. The problem with this is, if you're manipulating your body to produce this chemical outside of those very specific situations, you're messing with your body's awareness of when to produce these chemicals. They are obviously produced to help you cope with two of the most stressful situations that you will ever go through in life and the thought that when you need that very specific natural hit, it might no longer come, is very scary indeed. Messing with the brain is dangerous and leads me on to the final reason for me disliking drugs.

People often say that taking drugs is like opening your mind to another level of reality. For some it's a spiritual journey, for others it is a way for them to interpret their dreams and desires in a very colourful and real way. The bottom line is, it is an escape from reality. There are many ways to escape reality but there is always a danger with escape and that is that you become addicted to it. Whether it be the chemical or the feeling; you become addicted. The reason this is bad is because it is taking you out of awareness and putting you into a level of suggestibility or weakness which can be very dangerous. It is numbing your brain from reality and keeping it numb for a prolonged period. The skittish and paranoid nature of people who have used drugs regularly in their past is undeniable proof of this.

So, who am I to preach such things to everyone in a blog? Who am I to say all this when I've never experienced drugs in the past? Well, I may not have taken drugs before but I challenge anyone who takes or is considering taking drugs to do so after what I have seen. In the police you see the very worst of what drugs can do and in my life I have seen the lesser effects that are still memorable. I joke about drugs, I laugh about the effect they have on people and I pity the people who feel the need to take them because otherwise their life is too boring. My life is exciting enough without me having to resort to such stupidity.

I'm going to give you an insight now into the 'Police' side of drugs and a few little known facts:

1) If you are caught in possession of a drug (any drug) you can be arrested. If its a small amount of cannabis then you may escape arrest with a 'street caution'. This will still have an impact on your life in that you will get a DR (delta romeo) marker against your name and you will be 'known' to the police.

2) If you are arrested, you will get a criminal record which will influence any career checks that are done on you in future life. Banks also have access to this information so loans for business purposes can be declined.

3) A DR marker means that if you are arrested for anything in the future (even something that is not your fault or something petty) you will be subjected to a full strip and/or cavity search. That alone should be enough to dissuade you.

4) If you are in a house or car where people are taking drugs or where drugs are present and the police search the premises/vehicle or come into the property, anyone in the premises/vehicle at that time will be arrested on suspicion of dealing. It is far easier for the police to arrest everyone and sort out the guilty parties later than risk letting anyone go. Even if you are not charged you will probably still spend the night in custody.

5) If you are caught with enough drugs to warrant arrest for 'intent to supply' then you will almost certainly face a custodial sentence.

6) If there is a death in custody, every single police officer who is in the custody block at that time will be suspended from work whilst an investigation takes place into the death. For the arresting officers, this can mean months off work at a reduced wage.

I think everyone should be made aware of the above facts.


Family Guy's Peter Griffin Learns the Basics of Cavity Searches...

As a final point, there is a certain situation where I will respect drug users: If they understand all of the above, if they have seen what drugs can do and yet still choose to take them. That would be a true lifestyle choice and the acceptance of the consequences in continuing with that lifestyle, whilst stupid, is admirable. I have never met anyone who feels like this.

I used to work with a girl who regularly took pills with her friends every week. They went out, drank very little alcohol, drank lots of water and had an amazing time (so I'm told). She vehemently defended drugs as it was 'her choice' and she 'understood the risks' and chose to include it as part of her lifestyle. I actually admired her for that. For a while...

Two years later I saw her and got chatting. During the course of the conversation I asked her if she still 'raved' which, in essence, was asking her if she was still taking pills. At this point she went quiet and said "No, we no longer do it any more." I asked her why and she explained, in quite a subdued fashion, that one of her friends had died the year before after taking some pills. They don't know if the pills were mixed with something else or if it was a straight OD but it happened and that caused everyone in that group to wake up to reality. It took one of their friends to die for them to stop their stupidity and live in the real world. I lost all respect for her and lost touch with her after that.

Had she continued, despite what had happened to her friend, my respect for her would've been far greater. Obviously, I'm a nobody and it's not like people aspire to earn my respect. But if you're going to argue for drugs and do them regardless of how may people love and care about you: knowing the hurt you could cause them, then you better well have a damn good explanation or you could lose everyone.

I'll just stick to my 'boring' life and my hats.



PS: I realise at this point people may reference a previous post where I included a clip of Bill Hicks, a favourite comedian of mine and true defender of drugs. Just because I like his jokes doesn't mean that I agree with his lifestyle. He was a saint of comedy but he was no saint in real life. Doing 'bad' things like drugs will make you funny and cool in the eyes of other people and doesn't make you a 'bad' person but it does cause hurt. I'm sure Bill's parents would agree on that point as noted in interviews with them following their son's death.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Why I Feel Sorry For British Gangs

It's a tough world we live in isn't it? The economic crisis we're only just crawling from has caused thousands of people to lose their jobs, their homes and their hope. There are now people working any jobs they can find; taking massive pay cuts and doing things they would've never considered before just so they can pay the bills. But apparently this is nothing compared to the plight of inner-city youths. They've apparently been in this economic spiral into the unknown for years. In fact, they've had to 'earn' everything they have now and work their way up from 'the streets'. The world has shat on them and they've had to revert to crime as it's the only option they have... isn't it?

No, it isn't. And anyone who thinks that crime is the only way out of poverty is a massive tit.

But that doesn't stop me from feeling a little bit sorry for these lowlifes. Why? Because they are forever tainted and stained and branded with being in British gangs. And let's face it, no matter what weapons they carry, what respect they beat out of people or what they deal or steal, they just won't be as cool as American gangs. And that's what it's all about. Getting something for nothing and looking cool whilst you do it.

American gangs live in places called 'The Bronx' and have cool names like 'The Bloods' and have easy access to firearms which they hold tilted to the side, which is also cool. In the UK, we have gangs that live in places that are named after flowers and meadows and other nice places. They don't have easy access to guns, in fact those firearms they carry tend to be old rusty pistols that look like something they've found in a car boot sale or 'Auntie Wainwrights' from the BBC's The Last of the Summer Wine. And don't even get me started on their names.

The two main gangs in the area I used to work were called 'The Burger Bar Boys' (Boys probably had a 'z' instead of an 's') and the 'Johnson Crew'. Not exactly the scariest names on the planet... in fact 'The Johnson Crew' sounds like a group of cartoon characters you'd see promoting safe sex on a school sex ed video.

I was once threatened by a gang of people who, I shit you not, warned me that I needed to leave the area as it was 'Honeysuckle Lane' territory. They had knives so I didn't argue, but I did laugh when at a suitably safe distance. It's just not as having territory in 'The Bronx'. In fact their main rivals are probably 'The Butterscotch Crescent Boyz'.

Now at this point some people are probably thinking that I'm trying to cover the serious issue of teenage gangs with humour but this is far from the truth. Hundreds of people are killed by gangs or in gang-related altercations each year in the UK so this is not a light-hearted subject. However, I do feel this is a problem the government is handling in the wrong way. Instead of going on about how serious and 'bad' it is to be involved in gangs, they should just get people to see the truth: British gangs will never be as cool as American gangs and you aren't going to become a rapper when you're from Whitton-on-Sea so why bother? Why not just get a normal job and live your life?

When a person enters into a gang they are going down a road that forks off into two eventualities: death or prison. That's it. There's no "I worked my way up from the streets to become a famous rapper", it's just death or being someone's bitch-boy in prison. I imagine it's hard to think of rap lyrics when 'Big Bubba' is making you his man-wife. It's only America that allows former gang leaders to become rap stars and even they can't escape their former life. 50 cent for instance. He's been shot 9 times. That proves two things:

1) Gangsters are crap shots
2) Nobody has ever liked 50 cent.

We need to start laughing at gangs a bit more. If we make them realise just how fucking stupid it is to think you can make a life out being a criminal, they may just stop... and get a normal job. Sure, it doesn't help with all the American rap stars pumping out songs about their 'money' and their 'bitches' but I'm sure common sense will eventually prevail.

Here's my realistic rap song titled 'Bubba's Wife':

I grew up in the streets on Whitton-on-Sea,
No respect from my bros or my family,
So I got my shit together and moved on out,
And lived in a hostel like a dirty lout.
Stealin' and dealin's what I did best,
You know that for the wicked there ain't no rest.
But life wasn't good on Honeysuckle lane,
Those boyz from the west side (shopping centre) were a constant pain.

Chorus
Pain, pain, there ain't no gain.
Makin' my way from the streets to fame.
(Streets to fame)
Pain, pain, it's part'a my life.
But I'm happy now I'm Bubba's wife.
(Bubba's wife)

So we had an altercation, a fierce confrontation:
a terrible gun fight in front of the bus station.
The rozzers got called and someone was hit,
I started runnin but I was in the shit.
The rozzers kicked me down, put me in my place,
They stamped on my body and stamped on my face.
I was taken to the cells and they found my stash,
My anus was searched by a man with a 'tache.

Chorus
Pain, pain, there ain't no gain.
Makin' my way from the streets to fame.
(Streets to fame)
Pain, pain, it's part'a my life.
But I'm happy now I'm Bubba's wife.
(Bubba's wife)

So I ain't no rapper; at least not with fame,
I'm in a cell and I'm away from my game.
I hate it here and I really wanna leave,
My assholes as big as a wizards sleeve.
I've lost my respect; I've not a single fan,
But that was before I met my man.
Now I hide my regrets; I don't wallow in strife,
Because I'm happy now I'm Bubba's wife.
 
I expect that to be the next Christmas number 1.
 
I hope y'all enjoyed it because I consider that to be a rap which sums up the life of most gangsters in Britain. In truth, there isn't a place on this little island for idiots like that.
 
I guess the moral of the story is if you want to be a gangster, move to America or you're just not cool. Now, I leave you with a clip of one of the mighty Bill Hicks' rants about english gangsters. It is a laugh: