Hats and Drugs.

I like hats. As a shaven-haired individual, hats are not only a necessity for the Wintery weather we get in the UK but also a fashion statement. Plus, as I drive a motorbike, it adds an extra level of comfort to wearing a motorcycle helmet. I also like my hats to tell a kind of story.

 I bloody love hats...

So far I have a hat that was given to me by a friend,  a hat which came free with a magazine, a hat I bought from a festival (the only hat I've ever bought) a hat I found in Cape Town (which previously had belonged to an American who was travelling the world) and a hat I stole from a drug dealer.... At the moment, I like the hat I stole from the drug dealer the most. It carries a message of small come-uppance. It's like a very small, inadequate gesture of defiance towards an individual who doesn't realise what harm he's capable of.

Yes, I'm one of those uncool people who doesn't like drugs. And now I'm going to bore you with the reasons why.

As you may have read from my previous posts, I used to be a police constable. For two years I worked as part of the police and for the best part I enjoyed my job. Those of you who have a Twitter account may have recently followed the Greater Manchester Police (service) as they posted every single call that was made to them online. You will see just from that one day what kind of things the police are involved in and how many time wasters there are out there. You will have also seen a large selection of everyday crimes.

Many of these crimes would not exist, or would be greatly reduced, if drugs were not on our streets.

Pretty much every crime is linked in some way with drugs but that alone is not the reason I dislike them so much. I'm not naive enough to think that drugs are something a minority of the population have tried; drugs are everywhere. Pretty much everyone has tried or actively takes drugs in their life. I'm happy to say that makes me unique as I never have tried drugs and don't intend to. I like to be an exception to the rule, much like I enjoy having different hats with different stories.

Coming back to my hat, I mention that I stole it from a drug dealer (which in itself is a crime and potentially makes me a hypocrite) however it wasn't as straightforward as that. I was at a festival and he'd just finished trying to sell me and my friend some substance which was apparently 'the best experience we could ever hope for; a drug which brings out and enhances a naturally occurring chemical in the body which is only produced when we are born and when we die'. This kind of bullshit didn't wash with me and although I was polite, he realised he wasn't going to get a sale. When security came too close, he fled like a rat and dropped his hat. Which I then acquired.

Anyway, this individual was in all respects a fairly nice guy. He was a student, he was well spoken, in no way was he aggressive and he had a fantastical story which not only confirmed knowledge of his products but also would've made a weak-minded or easily led person consider buying from him. In my mind, this makes him stupid or the worst kind of person: one who preys on the weak to make a profit. It's pretty much the same story with all drug dealers, I'm told how nice and friendly they are but it's really no different from the windows salesmen that pester us so much or the religious fanatics that try to convert us in the streets. They wouldn't be very good salespeople if they weren't nice.

So that being the number one reason, we move on to number two. The argument many people have 'for' drugs and incidentally the one which Parliament is constantly battling over: Drugs are everywhere and not everyone dies from them so why aren't they legalised? More people die from using alcohol each year than die from drugs so surely that makes alcohol more dangerous?

No. Alcohol, whilst not perfect, is used by pretty much everyone. This doesn't make it right, but it means that statistically speaking more people are going to die from alcohol that other drugs because more people drink. Also, alcohol doesn't kill people outright, it is only when someone abuses it that it causes death. That can be abuse by drinking too much or abuse by drinking and then driving or performing another dangerous task. I've not heard a single story of someone having a single drink and then dying.

In my two years in the police there were three incidents of 'sudden death' that occurred in my area alone. 'Sudden death' is the term the police use to describe an incident that happens which costs someone their life but for which there is no immediate and obvious cause. Each of these three times it was down to drug use. This leads me on to reason number three for why I dislike drugs. Using drugs is manipulation of your brain. I think of it sort of like me tweaking the engine of my motorbike so that it's power output far exceeds what it is meant too and then altering the brakes to compensate... then riding it at 200mph without a helmet on. It would be fun and in many respects it's appealing; I could ride it like this a hundred times and not come to any harm or be arrested. But one day, for no discernible reason, my brakes could fail and I die.

Manipulation of the brain is messing with a part of the body which controls respiratory and cardiac functions: the most important jobs our body needs to perform. If you mess with these and increase your heart rate (bearing in mind that your body is used to your heart rate going up under very specific natural circumstances) then sometimes, just sometimes, your heart can give up. It just stops. Often it's not a heart attack, it's just immediate cardiac arrest. You just die, quite often, in your sleep. There is no way of predicting it and no way of stopping it. The drug that the man tried to sell to me is a concern perhaps for a different reason. He stated that it was a chemical which is produced naturally in the body when you are born and when you die and by all accounts he was probably telling the truth. The problem with this is, if you're manipulating your body to produce this chemical outside of those very specific situations, you're messing with your body's awareness of when to produce these chemicals. They are obviously produced to help you cope with two of the most stressful situations that you will ever go through in life and the thought that when you need that very specific natural hit, it might no longer come, is very scary indeed. Messing with the brain is dangerous and leads me on to the final reason for me disliking drugs.

People often say that taking drugs is like opening your mind to another level of reality. For some it's a spiritual journey, for others it is a way for them to interpret their dreams and desires in a very colourful and real way. The bottom line is, it is an escape from reality. There are many ways to escape reality but there is always a danger with escape and that is that you become addicted to it. Whether it be the chemical or the feeling; you become addicted. The reason this is bad is because it is taking you out of awareness and putting you into a level of suggestibility or weakness which can be very dangerous. It is numbing your brain from reality and keeping it numb for a prolonged period. The skittish and paranoid nature of people who have used drugs regularly in their past is undeniable proof of this.

So, who am I to preach such things to everyone in a blog? Who am I to say all this when I've never experienced drugs in the past? Well, I may not have taken drugs before but I challenge anyone who takes or is considering taking drugs to do so after what I have seen. In the police you see the very worst of what drugs can do and in my life I have seen the lesser effects that are still memorable. I joke about drugs, I laugh about the effect they have on people and I pity the people who feel the need to take them because otherwise their life is too boring. My life is exciting enough without me having to resort to such stupidity.

I'm going to give you an insight now into the 'Police' side of drugs and a few little known facts:

1) If you are caught in possession of a drug (any drug) you can be arrested. If its a small amount of cannabis then you may escape arrest with a 'street caution'. This will still have an impact on your life in that you will get a DR (delta romeo) marker against your name and you will be 'known' to the police.

2) If you are arrested, you will get a criminal record which will influence any career checks that are done on you in future life. Banks also have access to this information so loans for business purposes can be declined.

3) A DR marker means that if you are arrested for anything in the future (even something that is not your fault or something petty) you will be subjected to a full strip and/or cavity search. That alone should be enough to dissuade you.

4) If you are in a house or car where people are taking drugs or where drugs are present and the police search the premises/vehicle or come into the property, anyone in the premises/vehicle at that time will be arrested on suspicion of dealing. It is far easier for the police to arrest everyone and sort out the guilty parties later than risk letting anyone go. Even if you are not charged you will probably still spend the night in custody.

5) If you are caught with enough drugs to warrant arrest for 'intent to supply' then you will almost certainly face a custodial sentence.

6) If there is a death in custody, every single police officer who is in the custody block at that time will be suspended from work whilst an investigation takes place into the death. For the arresting officers, this can mean months off work at a reduced wage.

I think everyone should be made aware of the above facts.

Family Guy's Peter Griffin Learns the Basics of Cavity Searches...

As a final point, there is a certain situation where I will respect drug users: If they understand all of the above, if they have seen what drugs can do and yet still choose to take them. That would be a true lifestyle choice and the acceptance of the consequences in continuing with that lifestyle, whilst stupid, is admirable. I have never met anyone who feels like this.

I used to work with a girl who regularly took pills with her friends every week. They went out, drank very little alcohol, drank lots of water and had an amazing time (so I'm told). She vehemently defended drugs as it was 'her choice' and she 'understood the risks' and chose to include it as part of her lifestyle. I actually admired her for that. For a while...

Two years later I saw her and got chatting. During the course of the conversation I asked her if she still 'raved' which, in essence, was asking her if she was still taking pills. At this point she went quiet and said "No, we no longer do it any more." I asked her why and she explained, in quite a subdued fashion, that one of her friends had died the year before after taking some pills. They don't know if the pills were mixed with something else or if it was a straight OD but it happened and that caused everyone in that group to wake up to reality. It took one of their friends to die for them to stop their stupidity and live in the real world. I lost all respect for her and lost touch with her after that.

Had she continued, despite what had happened to her friend, my respect for her would've been far greater. Obviously, I'm a nobody and it's not like people aspire to earn my respect. But if you're going to argue for drugs and do them regardless of how may people love and care about you: knowing the hurt you could cause them, then you better well have a damn good explanation or you could lose everyone.

I'll just stick to my 'boring' life and my hats.



PS: I realise at this point people may reference a previous post where I included a clip of Bill Hicks, a favourite comedian of mine and true defender of drugs. Just because I like his jokes doesn't mean that I agree with his lifestyle. He was a saint of comedy but he was no saint in real life. Doing 'bad' things like drugs will make you funny and cool in the eyes of other people and doesn't make you a 'bad' person but it does cause hurt. I'm sure Bill's parents would agree on that point as noted in interviews with them following their son's death.

When Did It Become Cool to Have an Illness?

Yup, you see it all the time, though granted most people don't think about it. Just scrawl through the Facebook updates you undoubtedly get and you'll see it: " ----- is feeling sad. These anti-depressants the doctor gave me don't work." "----- wonders what the point in life is any more" "----- would love to come out tonight but his medication doesn't mix well with alcohol :("


Ok, we get it, you're sick. If you really are ill then why oh why do you feel the need to broadcast it to the world? I've made it a cruel point of 'liking' every single one of these to see if anyone says anything. It's childish but to see someone write "----- is feeling suicidal" and then to see my name underneath with a little thumbs up gives me quite substantial pleasure.

But right now I can almost hear people coming up with excuses as to why they need to broadcast such facts like "people will guess anyway" or "I'd prefer people to know" but if this is the case then why do we not see status' such as "----- has a terrible bowel obstruction." The reason, my friends, is that somewhere in the last couple of years it has become cool to have something wrong with you. Presumably this is because it makes you somehow different to the other dregs walking about, but the funny thing is there seems to be more people suffering from depression or with some kind of illness that, quite miraculously, doesn't affect their ability to go out and get drunk but does give them an excuse to fall back on should they need some sympathy.

It seems unfortunate that so many people seem to have one of only a handful of 'illnesses'. These include: depression, mild ME,  bipolar disorder and finally, the more work related 'illness', Stress.

So, let's take a quick peek at these little gems shall we? The first one, depression, seems to be one that soooo many people claim to have. Depression should be when someone is constantly depressed to the point where it is almost impossible to focus, where they don't want human company or -- at the most extreme -- when someone is seriously considering topping themselves. What it seems to mean to the majority of people is when Sex and the City isn't on for a week or when they get dumped by their girlfriends and write fuckloads of poetry. You go to the doctor and say "I'm depressed" and I guarantee you'll be on the happy pills before the week is through. It doesn't mean you have depression, just that you are depressed. I've been depressed. I was depressed when my dog died and when my girlfriend left me but that doesn't mean I need to go on medication. You deal with it like we have for millions of years, ever since the sabre-toothed tiger killed the cavemans wife. You shrug your shoulders, say "shit happens" and perhaps have a wank. I challenge you to be depressed whilst wanking. In fact, the very thought of a person wanking and crying at the same time humours me greatly.

The next one, mild ME. Now, let's get something right here, ME, that is proper ME (also known as CFS or chronic fatigue syndrome) is quite serious. It's when a person lacks the energy to do anything; get out of bed, get something to eat, anything. Mild ME however is just a term for "being bone idle". I could claim to have mild ME because on some days, I can't be arsed to do anything but sit around in my pants and watch things explode on crap TV. Not exactly worthy of medical attention is it?

Bipolar disorder... hmm, now this is a fairly new one. Amazingly enough, most people have only started to suffer from this in the last few months since, say, around about the time that Stephen Fry admitted he had it. In medical terms it means that one day you can be ecstatically happy and the next you can be suicidally depressed. Again, these are two polar opposites that would impact your life greatly but it seems that since Stephen Fry made his announcement, more and more people have claimed to have this disorder. But, what they basically mean is that some days they're happy (like the weekends or when it's sunny or when it's their birthday) and some days they're sad (like when they wake up and find the cat has shit everywhere or the car won't start or they realise the milk has gone sour after pouring if over their cereal). Basically, when someone experiences the range of human emotions that we've been graced with, they're bipolar.

And finally, the best of all, stress. "I can't come to work because I'm stressed." "I can't do anything stressful because I'm stressed." Everyone, from time to time, will get stressed by life but if this happens you take a holiday or enjoy some time to yourself, it's not a medical condition. People are so quick to declare that they're stressed but they fail to realise that any work place which finds out about 'time off for stress' is far less likely to employ them for this very reason.

The worst thing is, many people who claim to have these problems are the same people who I see at local bars or pubs and who are drinking, sometimes quite heavily, despite these apparant problems. They actually talk about their 'illnesses' with other people who have 'illnesses' and it seems like some kind of perverse social circle which I'm glad I'm not part of.

I consider myself to be a normal person. I've not got any terrible personality defects, I've not got aspergers, autism, ME, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder or stress. I suspect that might make me hugely unattractive to people but I would much prefer to be a normal boring person and enjoy my live than have to fill out an enormous list of medical problems every time I want to do any activity.

The people I feel really sorry for are those who actually have some of these disorders and have to live their life in competition with those who simply exaggerate their emotions and claim these problems as their own.