When Did It Become Cool to Have an Illness?

Yup, you see it all the time, though granted most people don't think about it. Just scrawl through the Facebook updates you undoubtedly get and you'll see it: " ----- is feeling sad. These anti-depressants the doctor gave me don't work." "----- wonders what the point in life is any more" "----- would love to come out tonight but his medication doesn't mix well with alcohol :("


Ok, we get it, you're sick. If you really are ill then why oh why do you feel the need to broadcast it to the world? I've made it a cruel point of 'liking' every single one of these to see if anyone says anything. It's childish but to see someone write "----- is feeling suicidal" and then to see my name underneath with a little thumbs up gives me quite substantial pleasure.

But right now I can almost hear people coming up with excuses as to why they need to broadcast such facts like "people will guess anyway" or "I'd prefer people to know" but if this is the case then why do we not see status' such as "----- has a terrible bowel obstruction." The reason, my friends, is that somewhere in the last couple of years it has become cool to have something wrong with you. Presumably this is because it makes you somehow different to the other dregs walking about, but the funny thing is there seems to be more people suffering from depression or with some kind of illness that, quite miraculously, doesn't affect their ability to go out and get drunk but does give them an excuse to fall back on should they need some sympathy.

It seems unfortunate that so many people seem to have one of only a handful of 'illnesses'. These include: depression, mild ME,  bipolar disorder and finally, the more work related 'illness', Stress.

So, let's take a quick peek at these little gems shall we? The first one, depression, seems to be one that soooo many people claim to have. Depression should be when someone is constantly depressed to the point where it is almost impossible to focus, where they don't want human company or -- at the most extreme -- when someone is seriously considering topping themselves. What it seems to mean to the majority of people is when Sex and the City isn't on for a week or when they get dumped by their girlfriends and write fuckloads of poetry. You go to the doctor and say "I'm depressed" and I guarantee you'll be on the happy pills before the week is through. It doesn't mean you have depression, just that you are depressed. I've been depressed. I was depressed when my dog died and when my girlfriend left me but that doesn't mean I need to go on medication. You deal with it like we have for millions of years, ever since the sabre-toothed tiger killed the cavemans wife. You shrug your shoulders, say "shit happens" and perhaps have a wank. I challenge you to be depressed whilst wanking. In fact, the very thought of a person wanking and crying at the same time humours me greatly.

The next one, mild ME. Now, let's get something right here, ME, that is proper ME (also known as CFS or chronic fatigue syndrome) is quite serious. It's when a person lacks the energy to do anything; get out of bed, get something to eat, anything. Mild ME however is just a term for "being bone idle". I could claim to have mild ME because on some days, I can't be arsed to do anything but sit around in my pants and watch things explode on crap TV. Not exactly worthy of medical attention is it?

Bipolar disorder... hmm, now this is a fairly new one. Amazingly enough, most people have only started to suffer from this in the last few months since, say, around about the time that Stephen Fry admitted he had it. In medical terms it means that one day you can be ecstatically happy and the next you can be suicidally depressed. Again, these are two polar opposites that would impact your life greatly but it seems that since Stephen Fry made his announcement, more and more people have claimed to have this disorder. But, what they basically mean is that some days they're happy (like the weekends or when it's sunny or when it's their birthday) and some days they're sad (like when they wake up and find the cat has shit everywhere or the car won't start or they realise the milk has gone sour after pouring if over their cereal). Basically, when someone experiences the range of human emotions that we've been graced with, they're bipolar.

And finally, the best of all, stress. "I can't come to work because I'm stressed." "I can't do anything stressful because I'm stressed." Everyone, from time to time, will get stressed by life but if this happens you take a holiday or enjoy some time to yourself, it's not a medical condition. People are so quick to declare that they're stressed but they fail to realise that any work place which finds out about 'time off for stress' is far less likely to employ them for this very reason.

The worst thing is, many people who claim to have these problems are the same people who I see at local bars or pubs and who are drinking, sometimes quite heavily, despite these apparant problems. They actually talk about their 'illnesses' with other people who have 'illnesses' and it seems like some kind of perverse social circle which I'm glad I'm not part of.

I consider myself to be a normal person. I've not got any terrible personality defects, I've not got aspergers, autism, ME, bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, multiple personality disorder or stress. I suspect that might make me hugely unattractive to people but I would much prefer to be a normal boring person and enjoy my live than have to fill out an enormous list of medical problems every time I want to do any activity.

The people I feel really sorry for are those who actually have some of these disorders and have to live their life in competition with those who simply exaggerate their emotions and claim these problems as their own.