Why 'Prometheus' Made NO SENSE (to me)

Firstly, I have to say that if you have not seen Prometheus then this article will be one big SPOILER. Though, I can't say that this will spoil the film more than actually watching it. If you haven't seen Prometheus but aren't planning to do so go and have a look at the Prometheus Wikipedia page so what I'm about to say makes sense.

Earlier this month, a long anticipated 'prequel' to the immensely popular Alien franchise was released. Prometheus promised to start a brand new story arc based in the same universe as Alien and set prior to the events of the first Alien film. There was a pretty decent viral advertising campaign and tantalising glimpses that indicated the very origin of the xenomorphs was going to be revealed. I have to state now that although it was made clear from the beginning that Ridley Scott did not wish to ride the wave of success of the first Alien film, there was hope and indications that there were going to be 'hints' of xenomorphs in the movie.

I went to see the movie when it was released and did so with an open mind. I made sure I did not watch any of the Alien films in the months leading up to the film being released because I knew that it was entirely possible this would be a something new. Needless to say, I saw the film and as you've probably guessed by the tone of this post, I hated it.

Prometheus was supposed to be a new story arc and I was ready for this. But this is where my first gripe comes in. Ridley Scott indicated that this would be a new story and that there would potentially only be as subtle taste of xenomorphs in the film. Indeed, this is what many of the movie magazines had us believing so if it was not Ridley who explicitly stated this, then I guess I should apologise now. But anyway, I felt as though I was promised one of two things. Either:

1) A brand new film with brand new characters and new protagonists (but set in the Alien) universe


OR


2) A direct prequel to Alien with the xenomorph origin being fully explained, or at least explained to a point that would mean another film would not have to be made in order to provide closure.

Prometheus was neither of these. It felt as though the film started with the intention of it being something completely new and then, as it progressed, the design team and director thought, "Ok, we'll have a reference to Alien here. Oh, and here... and here... and in that room later on." until finally he gave up and closed the film with the birth of something which is clearly an early version of the xenomorph (something which has been dubbed the 'proto-alien' online).

 In other words, this ugly mofo.

So, this wasn't a new film, it was clearly riding the wave of success of Alien. That's fine with me, but if that's the case then did we get closure?... No. In fact, not only did we not get closure, but we got a whole host of unanswered questions which will only be answered if Mr. Scott decides to do another film.

Now don't get me wrong, I know there are a whole troop of people who loved Prometheus and are defending it admirably online. I tip my hat to you good people and this blog is not an attempt to make you hate it; it is simply a rant about why I don't like the film.

The problem with Prometheus is that it linked too heavily with the Alien franchise and the explanation it offered for this link was poor. The people defending the film online have managed to explain the movie far better than it did itself but they have only done this after watching the film multiple times and scrutinising every interview with the directors and cast. Hell, some people appear to have done research into ancient stories and legends to formulate a reason as to why the movie is clever. I don't care if its clever, or if it has multiple mythological and metaphorical references. A film that does not clearly explain itself and requires its fan base to do research in order to understand it is, in my opinion, shit.

Just so you know, these explanations don't seem to answer everything and seem to range from things like 'Space Jesus' to 'mankind being an experiment' and they suggest that 'mankinds destructive nature perverts the true function of the black goo' seen in the film. This 'perversion' of the goo is apparently why the xenomorphs (and the other 'aliens' in the film) came to be. That, for me, is the wankiest origin story to one of my favourite sci-fi monsters. It also doesn't really fit into a sci-fi film.

All hail the black goo.

I understand that not all science fiction can be explained easily by modern science but it seems highly unlikely (some biologists say 'impossible') that black goo could manipulate and mutate something in such a short space of time. But lets ignore that niggle for now.

So, the aliens were either a perversion of this goo or -- as I like to think -- an ultimate 'planet clearing' weapon. I do like the idea that mankind was created with the intention of us being the first test of what the xenomorphs could do to a planets population and I like the idea of the xenomorphs being created as a weapon. But, this then brings up my primary gripe with this film.

How the hell were the 'Engineers' (or 'Space Jockeys') even aware of the xenomorphs, or the potential for them to be created? When the science team enter the alien 'structure' we see numerous motifs and symbols on the walls.

 Such as this one (click to enlarge)...

One of these clearly depicts a very xenomorph-like creature which hints quite heavily that the Engineers had seen these beings before. But how? How can they have seen one when it would appear that the only way to create a xenomorph is for the following to happen:

1) Black goo activates in human presence. Black goo infects human.
2) Human mates with other human.
3) Other human has 'squid baby' (or as some people are calling it, the 'proto-facehugger').
4) Squid baby impregnates an Engineer in order for it to create a proto-alien.

That seems an awfully random and entirely unpredictable string of events that need to happen in order for a xenomorph to be born. When would the Engineers have had access to humans and been in a position to get them to ingest goo, then mate? It doesn't make sense.

Now, I am aware that this is possibly going to be a question that is answered in the next film, if it is ever made, but I feel cheated that I have to wait years just for this movie to make sense. I also feel annoyed because I doubt it will be answered and I can't help but think that the Prometheus writers are just scouring the Internet for the reaction of their fans so they can then explain the movie using the random theories that have accumulated since the film's release. I genuinely feel that they do not know what the next film will be about, or include, and they are waiting for the fans to explain and decide for them.

Another popular gripe is the simple fact that the scientists were quite shit. Really, they did not have a clue what they were doing and there was little explanation as to how they had come to accept a job travelling across space without any indication of what the mission was. This could all be down to poor planning by the company that hired them, but in the film the scientists themselves went around touching artifacts, taking their helmets off, grabbing things and then getting lost and killed. Hell, there are running jokes online about how it doesn't even occur to one of them to run sideways when they are about to be crushed by a huge, rolling spaceship. Then, when they are first confronted by an alien (which looks suspiciously like a penis cobra), rather than keeping a healthy distance and recording it, they try to pet it like a dog... What the actual fuck???

Isn't he cute? I'm going to call him 'Biter'.

So, all in all, my gripes are that the film did not fit into the Alien franchise, nor was it something different. The origin story doesn't make sense, the plot was not entirely believable and I didn't feel that the people on screen were scientists. So, was there anything I liked about the film?

Not really. I really wanted to love the film and I thought it was visually awesome. The sets were created well and Ridley Scott perfectly captured the feel and the technology of the Alien universe but this was overshadowed by the poor plot. I thought Michael Fassbender was awesome as the android David but David's actions were predictable and his character had been 'done' before in other Alien films.

Prometheus was not a very good standalone film and I'm sorry to say that it totally confused the Alien canon for me. A true shame, but there it is. Rant over.