In Memory of a Wonderful Guy...

It's unusual for me to write a serious blog but occasionally fate would demand it. It's been an unusual week or two for me as I recently learnt an old school friend was tragically killed in a car accident on Wednesday night. Although I've not seen this person for a few years it is a death that has hit me.

Ian Lewkowicz was a friend I've known since junior school and he was one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. I know people never speak ill of the dead but on this occasion you would be hard pressed to find anything you couldn't like about Ian. I guess his only vice was the one that killed him: he liked fast cars. Some people may frown and roll their eyes and say, "Well if he didn't drive fast then he would still be here today" but I would find it disrespectful to find excuses to justify why such a wonderful person was torn from the world. The truth is we all make mistakes, we all go that little bit faster than we should, we all let our concentration slip and take risks and 99% of the time we come out unscathed. Although it is still unclear exactly what happened on that night and everything I write here is presumption, it is obvious that he was unlucky on this occasion and it cost him his life and the life of his friend.

The road in question is poorly lit, with a high speed limit and a deceptive curve in the road which probably contributed to the factors that caused the accident but it is said you should not put too much thought into the way someone dies and instead remember how they lived. I would like to do that now.

Ian was a gentle giant, a big guy with an even bigger heart and he was always eager to help and to please. I can never recall him being nasty to anyone, even when they were nasty to him. In High School people had the potential to be cruel; mocking the way someone looks or acts... but nobody would ever make fun of Ian. His jolly and friendly attitude to everyone -- friends and strangers alike -- only helped his immunity to criticism. It was an immunity which was well deserved too because he was a very likable person who would do anything for anyone.

I remember that when it came to cross country (which, also being a big guy in high school, was not my strongest area) I would always run alongside Ian whilst the athletic individuals ran ahead. It is a fond memory. Each week we would set off at our own pace and take it slow and chat about everything we'd done during the week. We were happy just doing our thing and nobody even seemed to make fun of us for it. I always think of that time as our time to talk and catch up.

There is something incredibly strange when looking at the facebook page of someone who has passed away... you can see the events in their life leading up to the fateful night. Its eerie to see comments from people asking Ian to attend different events and then seeing his reply stating that he was already busy as if fate was clawing him in the direction he took. It's difficult to see that if he had only decided to go to one of these other events, he might still be alive today.

Only now, after his death have I realised just how popular Ian was. A multitude of people have contacted me asking me if the rumours of his death are true; begging me to tell them that it's all some cruel prank. The amount of people that have commented on Ian's page and left their respects is a testament to how loved he was.

I left my own comment which I think summed up my view of Ian perfectly. Part of it read as follows:

"I'll always remember, ever since junior school, people always mixed our names up and would, on occasion, get us confused as one another as well. I wasn't bothered then and I wouldn't be bothered now. Never have I known a greater privilege than to be mistaken for such a warm, kind, funny and friendly chap."

I only wish I was less of a cynic and had as positive an outlook on life as Ian.

I also wish I believed in Heaven so I could convince myself he was looking down on us now. Instead I will content myself with the thought that Ian has left his mark on this world and in the hearts and minds of all who knew him and now, from my -- perhaps cruel -- scientific point of view, he will be a part of everything: the trees, the air, the earth.

RIP Big man, you'll be missed.

Photo Courtesy of Adrian Clarke

The Best Way to Get to Know Your own Town...

... is for someone to visit.

I've been very lucky recently in that I've met a wonderful lady (everybody say "awww") but she is not from my home town of Stoke-on-Trent so that gives me the opportunity to take her around Stoke and show her all the sights and sounds of the town. It's great because it means I have to actually look around the town and find out what attractions visitors have to choose from to see what Stoke is all about... but there's a problem.

There's not a whole lot of interesting things to see in Stoke. In fact, pretty much the only reason to visit Stoke is for pottery (if you're into that kind of thing) or oatcakes. Oatcakes are definitely worth the trip as they are awesome, but the pottery industry has mostly moved overseas although signs of our pottery-creating past still scatter the Stoke landscape.

So, I thought to myself. Where can we visit? The first and most obvious local choice was Hanley museum. After all, it is a museum so it must have lots of interesting local things in it, right? Well.... sort of.

Part of the Staffordshire Saxon Hoard

We have part of the Staffordshire hoard of Saxon gold which is pretty impressive and is such an important exhibit it has a rather awkward-looking lady standing near it to with the important task of ensuring kids don't lean on the glass and people know how to use the magnifying glass provided. Here is what happened last time I visited the exhibit:

"Why was the Saxon hoard left in Staffordshire?" an eager child asks.
"Well, it was shared between a museum in Birmingham and one in Stoke." she replied, with a helpful smile.
"No, he wanted to know why it was originally left in Staffordshire. Who buried it?" intervened the child's father.
"Oh. Well, we think it was some Saxons who looted the gold and then buried it for safekeeping." The lady replied.
The father looks at the huge sign above the exhibit saying: 'Saxon Hoard of Gold Found Buried in Field'. I can see he's thinking the same thing as me: This clever lady is just reciting what it says on the sign directly above her. "Right," he says, "so why was it buried? Why did the person who buried it not come back to collect it?"
"Oh," she replies, "we suspect that he was either killed or forgot where he buried it. That's why it wasn't found until recently."
I stifle a snigger and I think the father sees me laugh. I can't help it. The lady is clearly a master detective.

But the great thing with Hanley museum is that there are so many other things to see. Like the dead cat.

Yup, you heard me. The dead cat. No, not a cat that has been stuffed and put in the taxidermy section, it's just a dead cat sitting in a glass case. It's not in any way preserved, it's not a rare species, it's just a dead tabby cat which looks suspiciously like roadkill. I'm convinced that if you lifted it's head, it would have a name tag and an address attached to it. I have no idea what it is doing in the museum but its clear that one day, a (presumably drug-induced) person came into the museum carrying the dead cat (I'll assume in a black bin liner) and said, "Are you a museum?" To which the museum staff would've replied, "Yes, we are sir. How can I help?" The male would've then shuffled, opened the bin bag and said, "Do you want a dead cat?"

Now, in a normal museum in a normal town the staff would've said, "No sir, and we don't like your type around here. We have plenty of historical exhibits here, the last thing we need is roadkill." But, in Stoke, the person must have said, "A dead cat? That would be great! We have an empty case that needs filling and who wouldn't enjoy looking at a dead cat?"

In addition to the dead cat and the gold, we have a transect of what a pond in Stoke looks like. Well, ok, I don't know if that's what it's meant to demonstrate, but it's a pool of murky water filled with trash with a clear screen to look through. Perhaps it's meant to demonstrate how long it takes for rubbish to decompose, but the bottom line is it is a pool of murky water filled with trash.

Thankfully the Supermarine Spitfire exhibit on the bottom floor pretty much saves the museum. It commemorates one of our proudest historical figures: Reginald Mitchell. His aeroplane design helped save Britain from invasion during the Second World War. The fact that he came from Stoke means that we can be forgiven for unleashing Robbie Williams and Edward Smith on the world .

"Who is Edward Smith?" I hear you say.

Oh, he was the captain of the Titanic. Yup. The Titanic sank because a man from Stoke-on-Trent was at the helm.

Edward Smith, Stokie, and proud sinker of the RMS. Titanic

Of course Lemmy (of Motorhead) helps to cancel out that little disaster because everyone loves Lemmy and he is from Stoke.

So, after visiting Hanley museum and seeing the dead cat and the pool of rubbish, where is the next place in Stoke to visit? Well, we've got Ford Green Hall and Little Moreton Hall. Both of them are old wattle and daub houses. Wattle and daub, for those of you who are unaware, is basically cow shit mixed with straw and a bit of clay. So if you really fancy a wonderful day out with the family you can go and spend the day in a house that is literally made of shit.

Another fun place is Gladstone Working Pottery Museum. There, you can laugh at old job titles like 'saggar-maker's bottom-knocker' and you can try to make the people in the period costumes break character. That is a difficult task and I can vouch for that first hand because I did my school work experience at Gladstone and had the wonderful task of dressing up in an itchy old schoolboy's costume and maintaining character... upon pain of death. The lady who instructed me utterly refused to break character, even when there was nobody around. It was ridiculous. She kept calling me 'Stan' and then got frustrated when I didn't answer her. I was punished by having to hoover a 100 year old bottle kiln which was full of 100 years of dust and muck.

Gladstone Working Pottery Museum, Photo credit to Val Vennet

So, after thinking of all these places to visit I decided I would instead take my lovely lady to Trentham Gardens and we did have a great day. In the end walking through nice Italian gardens was probably a little more relaxed and romantic than looking at a dead cat, walking around a shit house or standing in a dusty factory. But it goes to show that you really don't know your town until someone comes to visit.

Social Networking Etiquette...

It's a tricky subject but I always feel that when you're broadcasting your daily activities and emotions to a host of people there should be certain rules in place. Also, I often worry about how people may perceive my posts when I'm updating a status or tweeting or simply commenting on something someone has posted.

For example, a big problem for me is how many kisses to put on the end of a message or comment of a close friend or loved one and how this may be viewed by the rest of my friends or followers. I think the following demonstrates my general feelings on this:

1 kiss = You are a friend, or a new friend, and I wish to say hello and show I'm approachable.
2 kisses = I now know you and I feel we get on well enough to be classified as friends
3 kisses = We are close friends or I quite fancy you
4 kisses = We are very close friends or I am in love with you
5 kisses = OK, screw friends, I want you.
6 kisses = I am actually stalking you and go through your bins on a regular basis
7 or more kisses = I'm going to make a suit out of you. Now repeat after me, "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again..."

Of course, this varies from person to person and obviously when messaging a male I rarely include any kisses unless it somehow feels appropriate.

Another thing I struggle with is whether or not to write how I speak. Obviously, I write in a far more concise and formal manner than I speak and I think this is down to having a good English teacher at school rather than actual etiquette rules. But I often wonder whether people view me as a stuck up toff as a result and at the same time I find myself judging people who 'tlk lyk dis' and I assume they actually speak like that in real life... Generally they do.

My worries don't end with how I write or how many kisses I put, but go on to the very specifics of which of my friends pictures I 'like'. After all, if I only 'like' pictures with me in them, that makes me vain but I quite often do this. Also, if you 'like' one picture in a friends album, does that mean you don't like the other pictures? Of course you can 'like' the whole album but then if you've also 'liked' a specific picture, you're also creating that image of a person who is basically flicking through someones photos going, "That's shit, that's shit, that's shit. Hmmm... that's ok. Shit, Shit..." Or perhaps that's just me being paranoid. Of course, there are also those photos you can't 'like' under any circumstances. For example, if you 'like' a picture of an attractive lady wearing revealing clothing, whether she's in the middle of the most fantastic panorama you've ever seen or shaking hands with David Attenborough, you're still going to be seen as a massive pervert. Plus, if you comment on the picture saying, "Wow, Attenborough rocks!" people are still going to read it as "Wow, conservation is great when you have tits."

Of course this then leads me on to status' and what to put on them. For example, if I put "Me and my lovely girlfriend had a fantastic time at the cinema today" there are presumably single people out there who will read "You are single and unloved and as a result you will never enjoy the cinema as much as me. Hang yourselves now and save yourselves the shame and indignity of dying old and alone."

Well, obviously I read into the whole social networking thing too much, but taking into account all of the above, why is it so many people actually don't care how they're viewed amongst their friends and peers? I've had my rant about broadcasting illnesses in the past, but what about the other things that annoy me? For example:

1) Status' about sexual matters: These are hilarious. I've viewed a fairly crude status someone once posted about one of their little fantasies which they played out and found immediate comic value in a comment beneath the status which said, "***, do you forget your cousins are on here and have to read this?" and then, if that wasn't gold dust in itself, another comment below which simply read, "Yes. And your Mum."
2) Status' about unnecessary things: '*** is going to have some food and then sit down and watch Coronation Street'... great, good for you. I'm going to sit in my pants and pick my nose, but I'm not going to tell everyone about it.
3) People who 'like' the status' about unnecessary things. It's like they approve of the fact someone is watching Coronation Street. It almost feels like a 'pity like' to me.
4) Status' about how bad someones life is: Ok, I've done this before during an emo moment but it can still annoy me: 'Oh my god, my life is terrible, nothing is going the way I want it to and the dog has just shit on the carpet. Why is life so bad?' I look at these status' and just think, "Well, life isn't that bad. You've got a house and a dog to keep you company and clearly you have a carpet. There are some people in the world who don't have any of these things so be thankful".
5) People who play up to these status': We've all seen them, "Oh, hun I hope you're ok. Chin up. Stay positive. People love you!" It's all well and good being supportive but usually the people who leave these depressing status' do this on a day to day basis. Rather than giving them the attention they crave, why not give them some good advice like: "Be thankful for what you have and sort your life out."
6) People who refer to themselves in the 3rd person. Fair enough if this is part of your status as that can't be avoided but to comment on your own pictures and refer to yourself in such a way is paramount to retardation.
7) People who 'like' their own status'. Seriously... What?
8) People who post gruesome pictures from Rotten.com on their profiles or insist on posting pictures of their horrible injuries for the world to see. Really? Are you such a boring person that you feel the need to spice up your profile with a bit of mutilation? Get a life.
9) People who have a picture of a car as their profile picture. Ok, this is just my personal gripe but I don't befriend transformers.
10) People who pull duck faces on their photos. Look up the song on Youtube. Duck faces are just plain weird.

The final thing that annoys me -- and it really does -- is people who feel the need to share their racist bigoted views online in the hope they can gain support. I think it's funny, because there was one person whom I had never met, but added me as a friend as a result of me having a similar interest in motorcycles and my first impressions weren't too bad. Then, as election time approached the BNP links and statements went up all over his page and it became immediately obvious that he was in fact a massive racist. The only funny thing about the whole affair was the fact that between the start and end of the election, his friends list had dwindled from around 250 to around 120.

Hmmm... Am I the only person annoyed by such things?