Social Networking Etiquette...

It's a tricky subject but I always feel that when you're broadcasting your daily activities and emotions to a host of people there should be certain rules in place. Also, I often worry about how people may perceive my posts when I'm updating a status or tweeting or simply commenting on something someone has posted.

For example, a big problem for me is how many kisses to put on the end of a message or comment of a close friend or loved one and how this may be viewed by the rest of my friends or followers. I think the following demonstrates my general feelings on this:

1 kiss = You are a friend, or a new friend, and I wish to say hello and show I'm approachable.
2 kisses = I now know you and I feel we get on well enough to be classified as friends
3 kisses = We are close friends or I quite fancy you
4 kisses = We are very close friends or I am in love with you
5 kisses = OK, screw friends, I want you.
6 kisses = I am actually stalking you and go through your bins on a regular basis
7 or more kisses = I'm going to make a suit out of you. Now repeat after me, "It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again..."

Of course, this varies from person to person and obviously when messaging a male I rarely include any kisses unless it somehow feels appropriate.

Another thing I struggle with is whether or not to write how I speak. Obviously, I write in a far more concise and formal manner than I speak and I think this is down to having a good English teacher at school rather than actual etiquette rules. But I often wonder whether people view me as a stuck up toff as a result and at the same time I find myself judging people who 'tlk lyk dis' and I assume they actually speak like that in real life... Generally they do.

My worries don't end with how I write or how many kisses I put, but go on to the very specifics of which of my friends pictures I 'like'. After all, if I only 'like' pictures with me in them, that makes me vain but I quite often do this. Also, if you 'like' one picture in a friends album, does that mean you don't like the other pictures? Of course you can 'like' the whole album but then if you've also 'liked' a specific picture, you're also creating that image of a person who is basically flicking through someones photos going, "That's shit, that's shit, that's shit. Hmmm... that's ok. Shit, Shit..." Or perhaps that's just me being paranoid. Of course, there are also those photos you can't 'like' under any circumstances. For example, if you 'like' a picture of an attractive lady wearing revealing clothing, whether she's in the middle of the most fantastic panorama you've ever seen or shaking hands with David Attenborough, you're still going to be seen as a massive pervert. Plus, if you comment on the picture saying, "Wow, Attenborough rocks!" people are still going to read it as "Wow, conservation is great when you have tits."

Of course this then leads me on to status' and what to put on them. For example, if I put "Me and my lovely girlfriend had a fantastic time at the cinema today" there are presumably single people out there who will read "You are single and unloved and as a result you will never enjoy the cinema as much as me. Hang yourselves now and save yourselves the shame and indignity of dying old and alone."

Well, obviously I read into the whole social networking thing too much, but taking into account all of the above, why is it so many people actually don't care how they're viewed amongst their friends and peers? I've had my rant about broadcasting illnesses in the past, but what about the other things that annoy me? For example:

1) Status' about sexual matters: These are hilarious. I've viewed a fairly crude status someone once posted about one of their little fantasies which they played out and found immediate comic value in a comment beneath the status which said, "***, do you forget your cousins are on here and have to read this?" and then, if that wasn't gold dust in itself, another comment below which simply read, "Yes. And your Mum."
2) Status' about unnecessary things: '*** is going to have some food and then sit down and watch Coronation Street'... great, good for you. I'm going to sit in my pants and pick my nose, but I'm not going to tell everyone about it.
3) People who 'like' the status' about unnecessary things. It's like they approve of the fact someone is watching Coronation Street. It almost feels like a 'pity like' to me.
4) Status' about how bad someones life is: Ok, I've done this before during an emo moment but it can still annoy me: 'Oh my god, my life is terrible, nothing is going the way I want it to and the dog has just shit on the carpet. Why is life so bad?' I look at these status' and just think, "Well, life isn't that bad. You've got a house and a dog to keep you company and clearly you have a carpet. There are some people in the world who don't have any of these things so be thankful".
5) People who play up to these status': We've all seen them, "Oh, hun I hope you're ok. Chin up. Stay positive. People love you!" It's all well and good being supportive but usually the people who leave these depressing status' do this on a day to day basis. Rather than giving them the attention they crave, why not give them some good advice like: "Be thankful for what you have and sort your life out."
6) People who refer to themselves in the 3rd person. Fair enough if this is part of your status as that can't be avoided but to comment on your own pictures and refer to yourself in such a way is paramount to retardation.
7) People who 'like' their own status'. Seriously... What?
8) People who post gruesome pictures from Rotten.com on their profiles or insist on posting pictures of their horrible injuries for the world to see. Really? Are you such a boring person that you feel the need to spice up your profile with a bit of mutilation? Get a life.
9) People who have a picture of a car as their profile picture. Ok, this is just my personal gripe but I don't befriend transformers.
10) People who pull duck faces on their photos. Look up the song on Youtube. Duck faces are just plain weird.

The final thing that annoys me -- and it really does -- is people who feel the need to share their racist bigoted views online in the hope they can gain support. I think it's funny, because there was one person whom I had never met, but added me as a friend as a result of me having a similar interest in motorcycles and my first impressions weren't too bad. Then, as election time approached the BNP links and statements went up all over his page and it became immediately obvious that he was in fact a massive racist. The only funny thing about the whole affair was the fact that between the start and end of the election, his friends list had dwindled from around 250 to around 120.

Hmmm... Am I the only person annoyed by such things?